I do not know what was the funniest part of the trip. Enterprise Rental is a business that has taken my money for over two decades but on this trip they decided they do not accept debit cards if it is at the airport and the return is not at the same airport, or its Thursday or the clerk forgot to wipe her butt.
Thanks to Enterprise and it’s rigid policy, we began our cancer vacation by carrying our luggage across four street lanes to the closest competitor of Enterprise. Thusly, Dollar Car Rental gave us a better car for less money. It has yet to burn a gallon of gas despite our driving 600,000 miles at 30 mph.
Houston is quite different from our cancer home place of Alamogordo in every way cities can be measured against themselves. For one thing, there are black people in Houston and seeing them in large numbers again reminded me of how much I enjoy people who are on the move, gaming to their advantage, and doing something besides staring into space: a popular pastime in Alamogordo where there are no black people and lots of staring into space.
The freeway system in Houston demands each second of a driver’s attention or else driver ends up in Wasilla (but with a full tank of gas thanks to this Nissan ‘something’ rental car). Despite this tense freeway system we found our sleeping and pooping facility while my lovely wife screamed into the phone with her sister.
They just scream when they talk, it has nothing to do with anger but just gaining an advantage over the other in their girl-word downloading. Nevertheless, it is unusual for me because my family speaks in quiet tones to one another. We are a quiet people who are error free in all aspects of life. Especially when we wear our blue robes of superiority.
My sister and niece (in-laws all around) met us at the magical MD Anderson and sat in on all the doctor-patient conferences. This is despite our discussions of highly personal items like stool size and narcotics use. We still have no idea how they were able to join those discussions when gay couples who have been partnered for decades cannot even look at one another, due to privacy issues, on a hospital deathbed.
The highpoint of the trip was last night when I went to 7-11 at for some 1:00AM food. There was a guy sweeping the parking lot and he approached me while doing some sort of sign language in my direction.
This signing included a simulated baby-in-the-arms-rocking type thing, followed by hands over the ears and eyes and then pointing to the sky. I walked closer to him out of cat-like curiosity and received a note from him saying he had been born as a deaf-mute. It also asked like me to give him money and/or work in return for God’s blessings.
I told him I was just in town for my wife’s cancer treatment and needed each of our pennies for diet cokes, and he smiled and said, “Cool man, good luck with that.” And like, he meant it.
I appreciate that he has It going on and things are happening in his world. I appreciated his recognition of my situation and I especially appreciated that he was sincere when he wished us luck with treatment.
His deaf/mute prop was new to me, well marketed, and likely a money machine! It beat the hell out of the “Wounded Vietnam Vet seeks a dollar and God’s blessings” written on a cardboard sign held by a neatly shaved 25 year old man standing the shade on an interstate overpass. But I cynically digress.
Out in Alamogordo, folks just stare at the air around them like they are dope smoking or Prozac drunk or both to the point that they are no longer members of the human race. I’d rather be scammed than zombied.
The next day, our first stop was the Houston Galleria where there are hundreds of shops selling thousands of things for millions of dollars. I sat at Maddie’s with a cup of French Roast and a jellied croissant while watching kids play football in an area that might once have been an ice skating ring.
It was refreshing to see kids really playing ball instead of punching little buttons on a little electronic device that simulated little electronic people playing little electronic ball. This is Texas and those kids were playing football in a mall! Also, there were women in that mall who are pretty enough to join my wife’s league of effing pretty women.
These things are beyond cool and I have no perfect words to express my approval of such a place full of such people.
The doctor at MD Anderson spoke with confidence about extending Lovie’s life and she presented several plans for doing just that bit of magic. In contrast, the doctor in Alamogordo spoke as if we needed to dig her grave beginning immediately and do it plenty doped up.
I think big cities demand a certain performance from her people. Moreover, I think Texas demands a certain performance from her people. Thus, I love big cities in Texas because everyone’s performance is maximized. I hope I never see or fly over Alamogordo again for the rest of this life or the next several incarnations. That is, unless I get to be a fly because flies maximize their performance in New Mexico and in Alamogordo in particular.
Maybe New Mexico should change its motto from Land of Enchantment to Land of Unmotivated Zombies or maybe Land of the Flies. Oh wow, that means my next incarnation might place me as Lord of the Gordo Flies.
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